


"Please don't laugh."

by Imjustadaydreamerr



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I use my apprentice but you can just picture yours., Love, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 01:37:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18084926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imjustadaydreamerr/pseuds/Imjustadaydreamerr
Summary: Lucio seems down. Sabrina wants to know what's wrong.





	"Please don't laugh."

    She noticed that the Count had been staring out his bedroom window for a few minutes longer than usual as she stood in his doorway, not wanting to startle him. “Everything okay?” she asked.

    He snapped out of his daze and turned around to face Sabrina with an attempt at an amused grin as she walked closer to him until she was only a few feet away. “Yes, mage. I was just admiring the weather is all,” he spoke, though his words fell flat and his normally bright smile didn’t reach his eyes.

    “What’s wrong? Something is bothering you, I can tell,” she said, not buying his response. His face burned red as a tomato, and he looked everywhere in the room but at her. “Talk to me, Lucio. It’s not good to bottle things up.”

    “Please don’t laugh,” Lucio said, his voice getting smaller as he spoke. “Please.” His quiet voice cracked as a shuddering sob racked through his body, eyes closing as heavy teardrops cascaded down his distraught face. He felt ridiculous, pathetic. How was Vesuvia supposed to count on him when he couldn’t even straighten out his own thoughts, let alone the problems of the city?

     Surely, Sabrina, too, would want nothing to do with him. Not that he could blame her. She deserved someone who wasn’t a failure, who wasn’t a fraud. Someone whose entire persona wasn’t based upon lies to cover up the walking ugly truth that he was. His chest ached as he began to try to accept that she would undoubtedly walk away from whatever they might have had. He knew that by the time he opened his eyes, Sabrina would be gone, and he would be alone with his thoughts. So, he kept them closed as if to keep that reality at bay, to keep his distressing thoughts at bay.

    To his surprise, he felt arms slowly and softly wrapping around his waist, and the weight of a head resting against his pounding chest. “No one is laughing, Love,” Sabrina said calmly. The Count opened his eyes and returned the gesture tightly, which was more helpful than he would have liked to admit. “You can just tell me when you’re ready. Or you don’t have to. Either way, I’m not judging,” she proposed, moving her hand in soft patterns on his back to try to get his heart rate back down to a calmer pace.

    Lucio took a few deep breaths before finally gathering the resolve to say what was on his mind. “In my old tribe, of course, we would often go hunting. One day, when I was out hunting, I managed to shoot my first deer. I was so excited, and so were the others. Then, we went to go collect it and bring it back. When I approached it, I noticed that it was still breathing. I thought I was going to vomit. It just looked at me, right in the eyes, as if to ask me why. Like it knew it was my arrow that was causing it such pain. My hands were shaking. I don’t know how I managed to steady the bow, but I did. ‘I’m so sorry,’ was all I could say as I put the deer out of its misery. The poor thing’s eyes were still wide open, staring at me. So, I closed them.”

     “Behind me, I could hear the others cackling. I didn’t turn around, because it felt like I couldn’t move in that moment. They came to help me carry it, and I numbly lifted my share of the weight. The others didn’t seem any less amused, though. I couldn’t figure out why they were laughing. I couldn’t even think of any words to speak. All I could think about was that day’s hunt, repeated indefinitely in my head, nonstop. When we finally returned, one of the others told my mother, who in turn told my father, that I’d finally shot a deer, mentioning also my apology and remorse.”

    “For a moment, I wondered if finally, they would be proud of me for something. But they started laughing, too. In just a few minutes, the word had spread around the whole tribe, and they were all laughing. I still didn’t understand why they were laughing. I was completely missing what was so humorous. I wanted so badly just to be alone, away from all of the raucous. Then, my mother walked over to me. She put a hand on my shoulder and said, ‘Monty, we do not apologize to our prey.’ Then, I understood. They were laughing at me. Everyone found my actions so hilarious that they couldn’t even bother to restrain from laughing uproariously at me.”

     “I felt so completely alone. Afterwards, my parents made me do all of the prepping, skinning, and butchering. I don’t even know how I was able to do it. I felt so awful, but I didn’t have a choice. It felt so wrong, so morbidly disrespectful. As if it wasn’t bad enough that I took its life without the decency to make it quick and painless, now I was there dismembering it. Somewhere in the process, I noticed that I couldn’t feel that crushing feeling anymore. I remember thinking it was so strange how I felt so far from the situation, even as I was right there. It was like I couldn’t feel anything at all, even though I knew I should. My parents said the task would help me learn to appreciate the hunt. My mother made me a coat of sorts with the fur, but I could never bring myself to wear that particular one. My father showed me how to cook the meat. I ate what I could, but I threw up that night,” Lucio finished the story, his storming silver eyes both empty and haunted at once.

     “Wow,” Sabrina said as she gently took his hand, massaging it with her thumb. “That’s awful. I know that in a tribe, you have to hunt. But they should never have acted like that. All you did was have some compassion. You shouldn’t fault someone for that.” she idly twirled a strand of his hair softly in her other hand. “And you didn’t mean to hurt it any more than you had to. You ended it when you noticed it was still in pain. That’s all you could have done.”

     “I know. I still feel bad about it, though.” Sabrina nodded. Everyone had things they deeply regretted. “And about the compassion, I had a similar thought once. I brought it up to my mother, and she very sternly told me, ‘Compassion is what gets you killed, Monty. It would be best to avoid showing too much of it,’” Lucio said thoughtfully, now running his fingers through his hair, looking almost as if he were still trying to figure out if those words were true.

    “You know,” Sabrina said, grabbing his right hand again and pulling him to sit on his lavish red adorned bed, “I think getting out of there was the best thing you could have done.”

    “I didn’t think so at the time, but I do now. And look at me now, in a palace. There’s no way I’d have a palace if I’d stayed.” he said, trying to think on a lighter note.

    Sabrina smiled, thinking for a second. “No way you’d have a palace, or, you know, any semblance of sanity,” she said. “Honestly, Lucio, I think you should reconsider those words of advice. She was right in that you shouldn’t let people walk all over you, but I really don’t think you’re in any danger of that. But don’t fault yourself for the way that evening went. It’s not wrong to feel. And there was nothing funny about the situation, I promise you. I know I’m just one person saying this, and not an entire tribe, but groups of people have been wrong before. And that was one of those times.”

     “Perhaps you’re on to something, dove,” Lucio replied, his lips finally turning up into a genuine smile as he thought over her response. He pulled her closer to him and placed a soft kiss upon her lips before pulling her to lie down next to him. “Perhaps.” He rested his head upon her chest, his hair a mess by then. They stayed like that for a moment.

     “And, Lucio?” Sabrina said, and he looked up at her. “I would never laugh at you for something like that, especially when you’re obviously hurting. So don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind. Ever.”

     “Thank you, my dove. You are much too sweet. And of course, the same goes for you, always,” he said, resting his head once again.

     “Let’s get some sleep, yeah?” she said, close to nodding off, herself. She felt a faint nod against her chest before she contently drifted off into pleasant dreams for the first time in a while.


End file.
